


Cold Arms - Extracts of a fic not to be written

by therumandcokediaries



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Corruption, Frigga and Thor make brief appearances too, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Imprisonment, IronDad and SpiderSon, Kidnapping, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, clips not full story, corrupt society, death mentions, of a sort, some kind of dystopian messed up AU, this was kinda rushed work so isn't properly edited soz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 09:58:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16762879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumandcokediaries/pseuds/therumandcokediaries
Summary: Mini clips of an AU I came up with ages ago. This is still kinda long sorrySoundtrack - I Shall Be Released (TRB version)AU overview: It’s a mixed up society, corrupt at the very bottom and very top alike. A portion of the society are Numbers - forced servants, working in factories and for the rich.Loki, one of the princes, always dreamed of marriage: falling in love, a wedding day of happy tears, a life of domestic bliss, a partnership which caused envious stares in the streets when they saw how in love they were.The reality is much different. Deciding he was taking too long, Odin married him off to the son of a wealthy businessman, ignoring the desperate protests. Loki ends up being forced into a social recluse by his violently abusive husband. In charge of the society and a man of little empathy, nothing can change his mind - whether it be for the repeal of Numbers or the safety of his son.Five years into the marriage, the husband shows one act of kindness by acquiring a Number for Loki. 302.0 turns up and changes Loki’s life.





	Cold Arms - Extracts of a fic not to be written

**Author's Note:**

> Any questions welcome. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes

-

“Oi” He snapped. “I’ve got something for you”

Loki looked up from where he sat, curled up on the sofa. The husband pushed someone forward. A man, brunet. And handsome, Loki thought, even though he looked a bit cross and very fed up. 

“Here. Now you can stop begging to go out and see your ‘friends’” he gave the man a shove, making him stumble. “I’m going out”

And with that, he turned on his heel. Loki waited until he heard the front door close and lock before looking at the man. The man looked back. He looked at the blank expression on his face. And he looked at the bruises. There were lots, at various stages of healing. The bruises on his neck were unmistakably finger marks.

“What’s your name?”

The man blinked. “Three oh two point zero”

“That’s your number” Loki said. “What’s your name?”

The man swallowed. “Tony. Tony Stark”

“Tony” Loki repeated. He looked at him, and at the sofa beside him. “You don’t have to stand to attention. Please. Sit”

Tony did as he was told. “Your husband seems... firm. Sir”

“He’s an abuser” Loki said, very matter-of-fact-ly. “I saw you looking. You don’t get these from walking into a door”

Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that. Loki looked at Tony for permission, and then pushed the mans shirt up. A large wound dressing was in place at the left of his lower back.

“You’re newly numbered” Loki said. “I’m sorry”

Tony looked at him. “You’re sorry?.. Sir”

“I don’t advocate the same things my father does” Loki said. “You don’t have to call me sir. Loki’s fine”

“Are you sure, sir? Loki”

“I’m sure”

Tony nodded. “Ok. Loki”

Loki smiled at him, and Tony found himself smiling back. 

“What do you need me to do?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, I’m a Number. Your Number”

Loki shook his head. “Talk to me”

“Talk to you?”

“Yes. Please. I don’t get to have many conversations nowadays”

Tony sat back uneasily, trying to avoid putting pressure on his back. 

“I’ll talk for as long as you like”

-

-

-

Tony swallowed hard, holding a shaking hand out to Loki.

“It’s ok. It’s just you and me. He’s gone now”

Loki didn’t move. He stayed on the floor with his hands over his face. Tony knelt down in front of him.

“Loki. He’s gone. Please, let me help you” 

Loki slowly lowered his hands. Tony swallowed, holding his hand out again. He let out a breath when Loki took it. 

“I’ll look after you”

-

-

-

They looked into each others eyes. Maybe it was just because it had been so long since he’d had positive attention, but Loki really liked Tony. They were friends, he thought. He felt safe with him.

“You deserve so much better” Tony said. 

Loki shifted closer and wound his arms round Tony’s neck. Tony hugged him back, and Loki held him tighter, burying his face in his shoulder. Tony squeezed him tight. They both needed it. It felt good. 

-

-

-

“I have a son”

Loki looked up. “You do?”

Tony nodded. “Yes, I do. Well, I did...”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise”

“I haven’t been three oh two point zero forever” Tony said.

“Yes, I know. I suppose I never thought about it”

Tony looked down at the chess board. “There’s no reason why you ever would. You’ve got other things to worry about...”

They both stopped and frowned. The bruises from the night before bore testament to Tony’s words. They were quiet for some minutes, the clack of playing pieces the only sound in the room.

“Where is he?” Loki asked quietly, keeping his eyes on the game.

“... I don’t know” Tony said. “The day they came to the village, the day they got me, the day I became a number, well... They took him from me”

Loki reached across the table and took Tony’s hand in his. Tony sighed, looking down at their hands.

“I was so helpless, you know. I’d always promised him that I’d protect him and I tried so hard, but that day... I was just so useless. I couldn’t protect him. I tried, but... You know, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on his face and the sound of his screams that day”

Loki swallowed hard. “I’m sorry”

Tony shrugged. “It’s not your fault”

“Still, I’m sorry. I can only imagine what it must have been like”

Tony nodded and pulled his hand free, causing Loki to detract his own. 

“What’s his name?”

Tony looked up. “... Peter. He’s- he’s fifteen..." he looked away. “I used to call him Little Prince”

“What’s he like?”

Tony swallowed hard. He loved Loki, and he trusted him, but he wasn’t sure about sharing the past. Even happy memories were painful now. It felt like an eternity since the day they’d been torn apart. He didn’t like remembering. But Loki was looking at him now, looking just as small and vulnerable as always, and with the same genuine interest he had grown so used to seeing. 

“Smart” Tony said eventually. “Ever since he was tiny. And witty. He was no fool. You couldn’t trick him the way you could trick most little kids. He was cute. Funny” Tony nodded. “Kind. Bubbly and confident. And happy. He was a happy kid”

“You’re talking about him in the past tense”

Tony paused. “Loki, I have no idea where my son is. I don’t know what happened after he was thrown into that carriage. I don’t know where they took him or where they sent him or anything like that. I just don’t know. He might not even still be alive, for all I know”

“But he might be”

Tony closed his eyes for a moment, hoping to get rid of the tears. 

“It’s the not knowing that’s the worst bit”

“I wish I could find out for you. I’m certain I could access the system, but...” he sighed heavily, rubbing his bruised knuckles. “You know he won’t let me leave”

Tony took his hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you, though. For caring”

“I bet you’re a great dad”

Tony couldn’t help smiling a little. “I did my best”

“Tell me about him. Your little boy”

“I-... I’m not really sure what to tell”

“Anything. You know I don’t judge”

Tony went quiet for a moment, letting himself remember. “He was a great kid. He really was. He was clever, he did well at school. He was friendly and easy to get along with - he had loads of friends. He was a good boy, hardly ever in trouble. He was so happy, too. Always laughing and joking. He was a funny kid”

“Just like his father, then” Loki said. “...Tony? What about your wife?”

“I never had one” Tony shook his head. “It was just me and Peter”

“I see”

“It was _always_ just Peter and me” Tony said, somewhat defensively. 

“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“You know. Being a father”

Tony paused. “I loved it. I mean, it was hard at times, especially when he was a baby. But... yeah, I loved it. We were really close... Do you... do you want kids?”

Loki swallowed. “I did. But... well, you know what I’m married to”

“Yeah...”

“I’m glad I’m not a woman, you know”

Tony looked at him. 

“What that man does to me... If I were a woman, and if I ended up having a child _because_ of what he does... I wouldn’t trust that man around a baby”

“Small mercies, I suppose” Tony said awkwardly. 

Loki shook his head. “Enough about me. Tell me about your boy” 

“... He meant everything to me” Tony said. “When I first got him-”

The unmistakable sound of the front door being unlocked, opened, closed, and locked again was heard, and they both froze. 

“Pretend I’m ill” Loki said urgently.

“What?”

“Pretend I’m ill! He’ll leave me alone if he thinks I’m sick”

Tony quickly stood up and took Loki’s arm as though supporting him, and Loki rested his head in his hand just as the kitchen door opened and He walked in.

“What are you making a fuss about?” He said gruffly to Tony.

“Your husband is unwell, sir” Tony said. “He’s-”

“I don’t need all the details. Get him out of here before I catch something”

“Of course, sir”

Tony escorted Loki out of the kitchen to his room. They both let out a sigh of relief as they sat down on the bed.

“One night of safety, at least”

-

-

-

“Maybe... Maybe we shouldn’t have done that” Tony said, looking away quickly.

“Who’s going to know?” Loki frowned. “Didn’t you want to?”

“No, I did!” Tony said quickly. “It’s just... If your husband sees...”

Loki closed his eyes and sighed. 

“I’m just scared for you”

Loki looked at him. “He’s not here. It’s not like you’re taking anything from him. _He’s_ never kissed me”

Tony wound his arms round his neck. “I know I’ve said it before, but I really hate your father. He _knows_ what that man is like, and yet he still lets this continue”

Loki closed his eyes again and rested his forehead against Tony’s. 

“When I was little, I always dreamt about marriage. I always knew I’d marry a man, even when I was little.. But me and my brother used to talk about it always. I imagined falling in love with someone who would treat me well... I know I’ve told you all of this before... Tony...”

“I love you too” Tony said. “I really love you”

Loki kissed him hard. “This isn’t the way this was supposed to happen. If father had just _listened_ to me, maybe... Maybe this could happen”

“We can always hope your husband has a work accident” 

Loki laughed despite himself. “That’s not going to happen... Oh Tony. I know this can never happen. But I’m so glad I’ve got you behind closed doors”

-

-

-

“Did you ever hit him?”

The sound of Loki’s voice came as both a shock and a relief.

“Who?”

“Your son”

“Oh” Tony sat down opposite him. “A few times. Why?”

“Talk to me. Distract me. Please” 

Tony swallowed. “We need to do something. If I have to hear him do that to you again-”

“Tony” Loki interrupted, staring blankly at the table. “Please”

Tony sighed. “... He was always a good kid. Discipline wasn’t really a regular occurrence, you see. I think I only smacked him a few times... He was no fool. You can use all sorts of tricks and harmless mind games on most kids to get them to behave, but he could always see through it, even when he was a toddler. He responded better to you being up-front with him...”

“Why did you hit him the first time?”

Tony looked at him. He was still shaking, his eyes still fixed on the table. 

“He was being a pain. I’d had a rough day at work and he was just being difficult. He was only five, he was just being a kid”

“In what way?”

“Well, just in the way kids are. He wouldn’t eat his tea. He was demanding ice cream, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He just kept insisting and I was fed up and I kept saying no and then he got cross and shouted at me so I gave him a good telling off, but he didn’t like that, and he started throwing a hissy fit. I just remember having a headache... Anyway, he wouldn’t stop shrieking, and I lost my temper and put him over my knee...”

“Did he cry?”

Tony shook his head. “No, and that surprised me even at the time. I sat him back down and reiterated why he’d gotten into trouble, and he went all quiet. And then when I’d finished, he picked up his fork and ate his tea without any more fuss... I ended up giving him a little bit of ice cream afterwards anyway. I told him he’d have gotten more if he’d been good, and he just nodded as though he understood. I think he did, in a way...”

Loki finally looked up. “Does he look like you?”

Tony paused, and then he smiled slightly, looking down at his hands. “Yeah. Quite a bit, from the right angle. It’s always been a bit of a surprise...”

“Did you expect him to take after his mother?”

“No. Uhh... Peter was adopted”

“Oh”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. I got him when he was a baby”

“That explains a few things. Was it- was it hard?”

“Not really. I mean, there was a lot of paperwork, and some classes and checks and stuff, but it wasn’t really any hassle, applying and being approved. I had friends who had done it and we were all pretty certain I’d get approved. I did still worry a bit. I held out until I’d been given the preliminary yes before doing the nursery, but I did give in and buy a few bits before that. Yknow, just like, a cute babygro and a little blanket. And a teddy bear. It was lovely. He carried it around all the time when he was little, and even when he was older he slept with it under his arm...”

His expression faltered, and Loki reached across the breakfast bar and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. Tony took a deep breath.

“I really enjoyed doing the nursery. I mean, at the time, I didn’t know what I’d be getting, but I still painted it baby blue. I had all white furniture too. I had a bit of help from friends... I remember feeling sick with nerves when I got the call saying they’d found someone for me. I had a bit of a mad rush, checking all these books and lists and making sure I had absolutely everything you could possibly need. Honest to god, I was so nervous, I started to wonder what the hell I was doing”

“How old was he?”

“He was just over a week old when I got him. I was shaking so much on the drive over I’m surprised I didn’t lose control of the car. And then of course I had to wait. I couldn’t stay still, you know. I just kept pacing around, and then the door opened and one of the ladies from my initial interview was stood there and I could see she had this little bundle in her arms. White blankets, I remember that. I could hardly speak, and then she put this tiny little baby into my arms and my heart just melted. He was looking at me and I was just kinda like, ‘hello there’, and his little hand shot up like he was waving, and the lady laughed and said he was saying hello. So then I knew the baby was a boy. _My_ boy. I couldn’t stop looking at him. He felt so warm and tiny and I loved him. I promised him right then and there that I was always going to be there for him. I promised I’d protect him...”

Tony’s face crumpled and he buried his head in his hands. Loki leapt up, horrified.

“Tony?! Oh Tony, please” 

Tony threw himself into Loki’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder.

“I miss him so much!! My little boy-!”

Loki held him as tight as he could. “Oh Tony. Oh Tony..”

He wanted to say it was ok, but he knew it wasn’t. Tony looked at him.

“I need to know if he’s ok. I know I can’t have him back, I know that life is gone now. But if I could just find out if he’s still alive, that’s all I want!” Tony sobbed.

Loki looked at him helplessly. He knew the systems were accessible. If he wasn’t housebound, he’d be able to find out. But he couldn’t leave. He could maybe ask Frigga, but she rarely managed to get the husband to agree to a visit, and he didn’t know when he’d next see her. He was worried. He’d looked at the systems before, years ago, before he was married. Being an advocate alongside his mother and brother, although all powerless against the Allfather, they’d kept an eye on things and used stats for their publicity. All this felt like a lifetime ago, but Loki could remember that whenever a new deceased stamp came up, most of the time, it was the youngest Numbers who were stamped: the children and teenagers. They had a dreadful mortality rate five years ago, and he wasn’t certain that would have changed. 

Loki held Tony close.

“I’m sorry”

Tony just cried. He couldn’t stop thinking about Peter. But the memory playing over and over in his mind wasn’t of long nights in front of the telly, or paddling in the sea and rock climbing on holiday, or playing at being ice-skaters in the kitchen. It was of fists and shouting and screaming and gloved hands tearing his terrified son out of his arms. It was of the struggle, of the brief moment of escape where he managed to push the necklace into the boys palm and hold him desperately for just a moment before they were seized and torn away from each other and thrown bound into separate carriages, never to lay eyes on each other again.

-

-

-

“Take my mind off it” Loki said as Tony mopped the blood from his face.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“... Tell me about when you got your little boy home for the first time”

Tony paused, pulling the first aid kit closer. “I was so nervous. I was fine at first, at the office and even in the car. But as soon as I got him home I suddenly had no idea what I was doing. Like, I _knew_ what I was doing, but I didn’t _know_ what I was doing. You know?”

“Kind of? So, what happened? Did you just get nervous?”

“Sort of. I took him inside and I remember worrying about dropping him, even though I knew I wouldn’t. I just kinda gave him a little tour and showed him round the house. I showed him to his nursery and showed him everything in there. I remember just saying... This is your room. Everything in here is yours. But you’ve got a lovely little Moses basket next to my bed for while you’re tiny. But I’ve got something for you now... And I gave him that teddy. It was nearly as big as he was. He kinda clung to it and he was dead cute. It was so cute. Honestly, he was the cutest little baby ever. He was quiet too, mostly. I didn’t like putting him down, you know, when I had to make a bottle for him. He was already crying a bit, but he started really howling when I put him down. My heart was really thudding - it was dreadful. I felt like I couldn’t do it quick enough. But then I picked him up and offered the bottle to him and he latched on and went all quiet and looked up at me while he fed. Honestly Loki, there’s nothing like it”

“How long does it take? To get used to it?”

“Umm. Well, I don’t really know. I don’t think you ever do get used to it” Tony said, finishing up and closing the first aid box. “There. You’re all done”

“Thank you...”

“He was easy, as far as babies go, but it did used to get to me when he screamed, like, every time. Especially when he was a bit older. It was hard. Really hard. When he was a bit older..." 

Loki took his hand. "You can tell me. You know I don't judge" 

Tony took a very deep breath. "I didn't realise anything was wrong, not really. I mean, when he was about six months old, I kinda knew I wasn't feeling the same. I wasn't 100%. I was tired. I was kinda too busy with looking after a baby... See, when he was about nine months old, and he was just playing in his little play pen... I was watching him, kinda... Zoning out, you know? And he was pulling himself up so he could hold the bars and stand up, and he saw me looking, and he smiled at me, and.. I couldn't smile back. So I realised something was really wrong" he swallowed. "I went to the doctor, and we talked, and they said it was post natal depression" 

Loki held his hand tight. "I'm sorry. I know it's horrible" 

"Yeah, it wasn't great. I got better though. I mean, yeah, I did struggle a lot... But I had friends who helped out a lot, and I did still enjoy it most of the time, once I addressed the problem. Still, it was better when he was a toddler. He was much more fun, and I was much better. Don’t get me wrong, having a baby can be nice. He was pretty, and I liked taking him everywhere with me and letting people fuss over him. But he became a friend a bit more when he got older. We had loads of fun when he was a toddler. It was still a challenge, but it got easier. It’s not the same for everyone, but for me...”

“What was his first word?”

Tony smiled, and passed him a cup of water. “He kinda had two. He’d showed no signs of speaking, but one day while I was tucking him into bed he spoke. I always used to say ‘goodnight little prince’, and one day he looked up at me and said; ‘goodnight daddy’. And I remember just being like, did you just speak? And he just smiled, and I hugged him... He was a sweetheart”

“I like your little stories” Loki said. “I liked the domestic ones. Like your film nights”

“Yeah... I like those memories. I loved him so much. He really was my friend too, you know. We were great friends. We did pretty much everything together. I had a great life, you know. Great job, brilliant friends, wonderful son...”

“You should still have all of those things”

“Mm... I never thought they’d come to our village, yknow. Numbers... well, it’s something we all _knew_ about, but we didn’t really _think_ about. We had no reason to, really. We were against it, of course. But we were living our lives in safety and we thought it would always be that way... But they _did_ come...”

Loki hugged him close. “I wish I wasn’t so powerless. But father won’t even listen to mother, and he clearly doesn’t care about me, so he’s never listened to me either”

“I remember seeing you in the press though, years ago, before you were married. You were an advocate for the repeal of Numbers. I remember it well. You were always out doing stuff. You were such a big member of society back then”

“Yes. Well, things change...” he sighed heavily. “My brother still does, I think, and his wife. And mother”

“As Numbers go, I’m lucky. Really, truly, lucky”

Loki looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well. I ended up with you”

-

-

-

Loki covered his ears with his hands. Out of habit more than anything else, Tony grabbed him, escorting him out of the room.

“Hey” he said once they were in the corridor. “It’s ok”

“Listen to him shouting” Loki said, slowly lowering his hands. “He’s furious with mother”

“Your mother just got rid of the man who destroyed you. She won’t let your father walk all over her now” Tony said. “You’re safe now. That man is gone. Forever. You’re _safe_ ”

Loki closed his eyes and rested his head against Tony’s. “Get me away”

“We’ll go through to that big living room. Come on”

-

Tony looked nervously at Frigga’s hand holding his. He was still shaken from the days events. 

“After everything you’ve done, I am eternally grateful. You’ve taken such good care of my son. I can do nothing, but to give you your freedom back”

-

-

-

With a shaking hand, Loki grabbed Tony’s wrist. Tony looked at him, at his cut and bruised skin, at his shaking body and the terrified look in his eyes.

“Don’t go”

Tony looked back at the sofas in the huge room, at Frigga, at Thor, at Thor’s wife. 

“I don’t belong here”

“I need you” Loki said. “I- I _want_ you... I love you”

“I love you too... Oh Loki” Tony hugged him close. “Oh darling. I don’t know what to do. None of this feels real”

“I know... Oh god, oh Tony, he’s really gone. He’s gone he’s gone he’s-”

“It’s ok” Tony held him tight. “He’s gone forever. He’s never coming back, he’s _never_ going to hurt you again. No one is ever going to hurt you again, I promise”

-

-

-

Loki turned onto his side, looking at Tony.

“Can I see your back?”

“Hm? Oh... Ok”

Tony pulled his shirt up. Loki carefully placed a hand on him, covering the brand on his lower back. 

“This may hurt a bit”

Tony looked at him quizzically, and a strange burning sensation flowed through the area where Loki’s hand was, making him flinch. It last no more than twenty seconds, and then Loki removed his hand.

“There...”

Tony stared at him, and then quickly turned his head and peered at his back. He saw nothing but clear skin. He touched it carefully, and felt nothing but smooth flesh. He stared at Loki.

“It’s not going to come back” Loki said. “It’s gone. You’re not a Number any more. You’re free”

-

-

-

Loki sat down with Tony.

“I can’t believe it’s been a week already” Tony said.

“How does freedom feel?”

“Weird... Loki..? What did you want to talk about?”

Loki swallowed hard. “I know we’ve still kissed. I know you’ve stayed in my bed and we’ve been close and all that... But I need to know why”

“You know why” Tony said. “I love you”

“But then I must ask” Loki said. “What are you going to do now?”

Tony took his hands and held them tight. “I’m going to stay right here. With you. I promise”

“You promise?”

“I promise”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. He laughed slightly and hugged him. 

“Thank you... But why?”

“Why? Well, because I’m in love with you”

-

-

-

Loki and Tony looked at their clasped hands, and at the rings on their fingers. Tony looked at Loki. It took Loki a while to notice, and he turned and looked at his smiling face.

“Hello”

“Hey”

“How do you feel?”

Loki thought for a moment, and then kissed Tony gently. “Like a married man”

-

-

-

Finally. After a lifetime of dreaming, and six and a half years of hell, the dream came true. Still broken, still terrified underneath it all, still a little bit bruised, but very nearly in the place he always wished to be.

People knew, just by sight, how much Loki loved Tony. And they knew, again by sight, how much Tony loved Loki. The old husband was a topic of nightmares, who was quickly being forgotten by most. Everyone now knew what he had been, and they knew he was deceased. Frigga, Loki, Tony, Thor, and Odin knew the truth. Everyone else thought it was a work-based accident. 

None of that mattered anymore. Loki was recovering. Struggling, but getting there. The dream wedding had happened. The man he was in love with was at his side. Tony was free. They lived in the big house with Frigga, occupying beautiful space, living in comfortable splendour. It was warm, it was bright, it was friendly and relaxed (mostly). It was good.

-

-

-

Loki touched Tony’s face gently. 

“Sweetheart?”

“Hm?” Tony glanced up at him.

“You’ve been so distracted lately. What is it?”

“Oh. I’ve just been thinking, y’know. It’s all the free time. I haven’t really done much at all since we got back from the honeymoon. I’ve had a lot of time to just sit and think”

Loki sat down beside him on the swinging bench and took his hand. Tony squeezed it back.

“I’ve been thinking about my little boy”

“Oh Tony”

“I know. I don’t know if he’s even still alive. But I’ve been thinking about my old life, yknow, before I was a Number... I miss him”

Loki rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. “I know you do”

-

-

-

Frigga stood behind Loki. 

“What are you looking at?”

Loki jumped. “Oh, it’s just you, mother. You startled me”

He looked back at the screen, and typed in ‘302.0′. Frigga watched as the ‘Access Denied’ notice flashed up on screen. Loki sighed heavily and stood up.

“I didn’t know the system had changed. This is hopeless”

Frigga watched him leave, and took his place at the desk. She scanned herself in, and copied Loki’s search. She brought up Tony’s page, now marked with ‘RUES’ - Released Under Exceptional Circumstances. She clicked on the Descendants tab, and was greeted by only one result. 

302.1.

-

-

-

Loki held Tony as tight as he could.

“Oh Tony. Oh Tony, I’m sorry” Loki said. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do”

Tony just cried, face buried in Loki’s chest. He didn’t know what to do either. There was nothing he _could_ do - and nothing Loki could do either. He couldn’t access the system. He couldn’t find out if his son was still alive. He couldn’t find out where he was. It was hopeless.

-

-

-

Tony woke up in Loki’s arms. He felt weird, hollow. He looked up at Loki.

“Hey...”

“Hi. How do you feel?”

Tony sat up, sighed, and shrugged. “...Can you hear that?”

They both listened for a moment.

“Is that your mother calling?”

“I think it is. Shall we go and see?”

-

They went through to the living room - and Tony stopped dead. Frigga was sat on the sofa, and she had someone under her arm. Someone small, thin and trembling, looking down at their hands. A boy.

“Mother?”

The someone looked up, and his tearful eyes widened. He looked at Tony, and Tony looked at him. Frigga gave the boys hand a squeeze.

“It’s ok”

Tony went over hesitantly, stopping a couple of feet from the sofa. 

“Peter?” his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“Dad... Dad!” 

The boy jumped up, and stood, still shaking. Tony reached out, carefully placing a hand on the boys cheek, as though checking he was real. And then he pulled him close, holding him as though he would never let go.

Loki looked at Frigga. “How..?”

“I have my ways” she smiled and stood up to give him a quick hug. “I’ll leave you to it”

She left, and Loki looked at Tony. He’d fell to his knees, the boy in his arms. His son. He looked exhausted, underfed, tiny. He couldn’t see his face now, but he’d seen before. He was cute. Even just that glimpse, and the way he was being held now, was enough to show him just how much Tony loved him.

-

Loki knelt down beside Tony, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Sweetheart” 

Tony looked at him tearfully, laughing slightly. He looked down at Peter, putting a little distance between them so his face was no longer hidden. Peter looked up, crying too. He looked at Loki nervously, but focused on Tony. Tony looked back at Loki, stroking Peter’s hair gently.

“My little boy”

Loki smiled, tearing up as he looked at Tony. He touched Peter’s hair gently. It was surprisingly soft. He could smell the soap on him - it was obvious he’d recently had a bath.

“He’s lovely”

Tony laughed, pulling Loki into the hug. He tried to talk, but just laughed. 

“Tony? Can I..?”

Tony nodded. Loki pushed Peter’s shirt up, making the boy flinch a bit. He flinched a little himself when he saw the brand. He hated that he knew what it meant. He took a deep breath and placed his hand over it.

“This might sting a bit. I’m sorry”

Peter looked at Tony nervously. Tony held him tight. “It’s ok, darling”

He squeaked and whimpered a bit at the burning sensation, and Tony shushed him and kissed his head firmly to reassure him. Once done, Peter opened his eyes, wriggling round and looking at him back. He stared at Loki, and touched his skin in the same way Tony had done.

“It’s gone. It won’t come back” Loki said. “You’re ok. You’re here now”

Peter buried himself back in Tony’s chest, hiding his face. Loki hugged them both tight, and then moved back tactfully. "I'll give you two some space"

\- 

\- 

-

Loki perched on the arm of the sofa. Tony was curled up with Peter close against his chest, fast asleep in his arms. 

“Hey”

Tony glanced up. “Hey sweetheart”

Loki looked at him, at the way he was looking down at Peter. 

“He’s such a cute little kid”

“Yeah... Oh Loki, I can’t believe I’ve got him back”

“Hey. Hey, don’t cry! It’s ok”

“I’m crying because I’m happy” Tony said, wiping his eyes. “My little boy...”

Loki rested a hand on Peter’s head. “I’m sorry about what happened to him”

Tony sighed. “He let you show us for a reason. I know it’s horrendous, but... Well, now we know exactly what happened, we’re better equipped to help him”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. He’ll be ok. You were brilliant with me, and we’ve only known each other a couple of years. You’ve known Peter his whole life, near enough. So no doubt you’ll be perfect with helping him”

“I hope so... Thanks darling... Hey, you know what this means, don’t you?”

Loki looked at him. “What?”

“You’re a father now”

-

Frigga had set up the room beside Loki and Tony’s for Peter. Having had a long cuddle and adjusting to the realisation that they were now back together, Tony fed Peter and decided an early night would be beneficial. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart. Come on; lets get you to bed” 

Peter stayed under Tony’s arm, glancing nervously at Loki, and allowing himself to be led down the wide corridors. Tony opened the door to the spare room. Peter stared - and his face lit up. He bounded forward into the room, mesmerised by the king size bed.

“Look at this bed!” he said, laughing. “Is this for me? I can’t remember the last time I got to sleep in a proper bed”

Tony couldn’t even find his enthusiasm endearing - the thought of his little boys conditions since they’d been separated hurt too much. He swallowed hard and went and put an arm round his shoulders.

“This is your room now, sweetheart. Here, why don’t you get into these pyjamas? Wasn’t it nice of Frigga to get them for you? We’ll go and get you some more clothes and pyjamas and all the other stuff you need - and anything you want - soon. Ok darling?” 

Peter nodded - and glanced over at Loki, who was stood in the doorway. He shivered and clung to Tony. 

“Daddy? Who _is_ that man?” 

“Hm? Oh..” Tony looked over at Loki, nodding at him to join them. “Peter, sweetheart, this is Loki. Prince Loki, you know. He’s.. he’s my husband. Your step-father”

“It’s good to have you with us” Loki said gently. “I’ve heard a lot about you”

Peter shrunk away from him. “You got married?”

“Yeah... It’s a long story. I’ll tell you properly, some time. Loki here, well, he’s the reason we’re back together now. We’re free because of him - and Frigga. We’re a family again now. A bigger family. You’ve got another dad. And a grandma”

“We’ll look after you” Loki said. “I’ve just got to go and grab something”

Peter felt more comfortable getting changed once Loki had gone. Tony took the necklace from round the boys neck, looking at it carefully.

“I’m glad you managed to keep it” he said sadly.

Peter nodded, quickly pulling the pyjamas on to cover his marked skin. “It helped”

Tony hugged him hard. “Oh sweetheart. I’m so relieved to have you back. No one is ever going to hurt you again, I swear”

Peter cuddled into him, but he didn’t believe him. “Dad...”

“We’re- well, we’re royals now, darling. You’re a real little prince now” he smiled. “No one can hurt you now. We’ll be safe now. Loki... He’s had a really horrible time, but he’s getting better, and he’d never let anyone hurt me - or you. I promise, we are absolutely safe now. We’re here, and we’re safe, and most importantly, we’re back together”

“I thought I’d never see you again”

“I know, darling. We don’t have to think about all that anymore. Come on; let’s get you tucked in, little prince”

Tucking Peter in felt so familiar, yet so foreign. Tony found himself automatically reaching for Peter’s old teddy, and stopped. 

“Oh Peter”

Peter looked up at him, thinking the same thing, his eyes watering. They were distracted by a light knock on the door. Loki was back, and Frigga with him. 

“I thought I’d check on the little one” Frigga said gently.

Peter sat up, looking at Frigga, ignoring Loki. In his eyes, the lady was an angel - she had saved him. Looking at Tony for permission first, Frigga and Loki approached the bed. 

“You don’t look quite so nervous now” she said. “We thought these might be welcome”

Peter looked at Loki and Frigga’s hands. They’d both brought him a teddy bear. Frigga held a brand new one, its glass eyes shining, its beige fur soft. It was lovely. Loki held an older bear, brown, a dark green bow round its neck. It had a kind expression, and Peter ached for it - it was wonderful.

“Oh, isn’t that kind? Say thank you, sweetheart” Tony said, swallowing hard to get rid of the tears in his own eyes. 

Peter stayed quiet, but he nodded, reached out, and took the bear from Frigga. He held it for a moment, and then hugged it to his chest, rubbing his nose against its soft fur. Tony was a little surprised, as he’d seen the way Peter had looked at the old bear, which was indeed nicer.

“Aww. Tony, he’s so sweet” Frigga said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Peter. Goodnight now”

Peter was sad to see her go, but he focused more on his father. 

“Here, sweetheart” Tony helped him lie down, and took the old bear from Loki and tucked it in beside him. “Ok? It’s time to go to sleep now, sweetheart. It’s ok. I’ll be here when you wake up”

“You can just shout if you need anything during the night” Loki said.

He went to touch the boys hair, but he flinched away and wouldn’t let him.

“Goodnight, Peter. I’ll leave you and dad alone. See you in the morning”

Once Tony had fussed over him a little more, Peter tried to settle down. He pushed the old bear away and cuddled down with the new one.

“Stay with me?”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep” Tony said, stroking the boys hair. “I’ll be just next door if you wake up in the night. You can come and crawl into my bed if you need to”

“Don’t you share with that man?”

“Loki? Oh, he won’t mind” Tony said. “Shh, now. It’s been a hell of a day. You need the rest”

-

-

-

Tony looked at Loki.

“What’s that face for?”

Loki ignored him. Tony went and peered into the wok. 

“Darling, are you sure there’s enough for three there?”

“There’s only two of us”

“There’s three of us” Tony said. “What about Peter?”

Loki narrowed his eyes and didn’t say anything. The boy obviously couldn’t stand him.

“Loki” 

“He wouldn’t eat it anyway” Loki grumbled. “He won’t even have a glass of water if he knows I poured it, you know that”

“He’ll have to eat some time. We should still give him the option”

“Why? It’s just a waste of food”

Tony frowned. “Loki, look-”

They heard the creak of the door, and looked round. Peter stopped in the doorway, biting his thumb. Tony smiled at him.

“Hello sweetheart” he said brightly. “Are you hungry?”

Peter didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on Loki. Loki turned back to what he was doing. Tony sighed and went to give Peter a cuddle. 

“You’re freezing, darling! Have you been outside?”

Peter nodded, burying his face in Tony’s chest.

“We’ll soon get you warmed up. Tea is just about ready” he looked at Loki. “Isn’t it, darling?”

“Just about”

“‘m not hungry” Peter mumbled.

“You’ve got to eat, sweetheart”

Loki sighed irritably. “Stop pandering to him. He can either eat, or go to his room”

“Loki! Don’t listen to him, darling; he’s just teasing”

Loki rolled his eyes and starting plating up. He knew it was a waste of time arguing with Tony.

-

-

-

Loki grabbed Peter by the shoulders and shoved him down onto a chair. Peter squeaked and tried to push him away.

“Let go! Let go of me!”

“Stop this! You’re doing my head in! Would you just _eat_ , please?” Loki said, letting go of him.

Peter looked at the plate on the kitchen table. He looked at Loki, and burst into tears, covering his face with his hands.

“I want daddy-!”

“Well, daddies not here” Loki snapped. “Now stop being stupid and do as you’re told. Tony’ll be angry with both of us if he gets back and finds you half-starved”

Peter stayed crying into his hands. Loki looked at him, teeth gritted, trembling with rage. He was sick of this. The boy hated him, he just knew it. He always shrunk away from him and tried to avoid him, and cried if Loki tried to look after him. He wouldn’t eat anything Loki cooked. He wouldn’t even have a cup of tea if Loki had made it. He rejected everything he offered him, from full meals to sweets, to treats and toys. He obviously wanted nothing to do with him. He might be Loki’s step-son, but he certainly didn’t want to be.

“Loki?”

Loki turned round. “Mother..”

Frigga smiled and squeezed his hand. “Go. I’ll take over”

Loki didn’t have to be asked twice. Any excuse for an escape. Plus, Peter loved Frigga - he let her take care of him. It was win-win, as far as he was concerned.

-

-

-

Tony closed the door firmly and turned to Loki, arms folded.

“What the hell has gotten into you today?”

“What’s gotten into _me_?! Why don’t you ask that little brat of yours?”

“Hey, that’s my son you’re talking about” Tony snapped. “He sighed. “Look, I know he’s still scared of you and-”

“ _Scared_ of me? Tony, he fucking hates me”

“No he doesn’t! He’s _scared_. He doesn’t know you properly yet. This is hard for him”

“He’s made no effort to get to know me. He’s being impossible. I’m sick of it! I get it, Tony; he’s your son. And sure, he’s a great kid in many ways, but not when he’s with me”

Tony swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well... When he’s with you, and with mother, he’s all soft and sweet and funny and he jokes about and plays daft games. I can see he’s still nervous, but he’s _cute_ , and I like him. But as soon as he’s with me, he goes all stupid and sulky and won’t look at me, and he’s _still_ refusing to eat when I cook, and it’s doing my head in” Loki took a very deep breath. “Tony, I can see why you love him like you do. Part of me wants to love him too, but when he’s like this with me... It’s so hard to like someone who hates you like that”

Tony looked at him. He looked at his trembling hands and the tears in his eyes, and he pulled him close.

“Oh, Loki, darling. I’ve been so distracted and caught up with looking after Peter, I didn’t realise how much this has been upsetting you”

Loki hesitated, but then wound his arms round Tony. He didn’t say anything.

-

-

-

“Daddy..?”

Loki and Tony looked up. Peter shot Loki a nervous glance and looked at Tony.

“Peter? Sweetheart, what happened?”

Peter held his injured arm tighter. “I fell over...”

“Here, let me see... Ooh, that’s nasty, isn’t it? Loki, can you get- oh, thanks darling. Here, can you-?”

Peter and Loki both stared at him. Tony looked between them, opening the first aid box.

“What’s with those faces? Loki, you’re much better at first aid than I am” Tony stood up, lifting Peter onto his chair. “There”

“No!” Peter cried, grabbing at Tony with his bloody hands. “No, daddy, I want _you_ to do it!”

“It’s better if other-daddy does it” Tony said gently. 

Loki frowned. He knew what Tony was trying to do. Peter wasn’t happy. He’d started howling. 

“I don’t want him to do it! I don’t want him touching me, I don’t want him!” 

“Shh, little prince. You’ve got no choice” Tony held him tight, but in a way that kept his arm still and exposed so Loki could get to it. 

Loki sighed, snapping the top off a saline pod and tipping it onto a sterile pad. 

“I’ll be gentle” Loki said. “This may sting”

He rested one hand on Peter’s arm and started cleaning the nasty wound on his elbow with the other. Peter shrieked and struggled, so much so that Tony had a hard job keeping hold of him.

“No! No! Make him stop! Make him _stop_! I don’t want him!”

Tony wasn’t in the mood. “Stop that silly noise” he snapped. “Now you stay still and let yourself be tended to, or you’ll get a smacked bottom, do you hear me?”

Peter buried his face in Tony’s chest and howled - but he stayed still and let Loki clean him up and dress his wounds.

“There, you’re all done” Loki said, snapping the first aid kit closed. He rather wished he could shove Peter in a box and stow him away on top of the kitchen cabinets too. 

“What do you say, Peter?”

Peter said nothing. He’d stopped shouting, and just stayed buried in his fathers chest. He felt sick. 

-

“That was a stupid idea” Loki snapped once Peter had gone off. “He’s never going to like me, and that’s that. You’ll just make it worse, forcing him”

“I thought it might help...” Tony sighed sadly. “He’ll come round eventually...”

“You don’t sound so sure”

Tony leant against Loki. “I was so sure he’d love you if he ever met you... Oh Loki, he’s just so broken and torn up and scared all the time. I don’t know how best to take care of him”

“You’re doing great” Loki said firmly, and he meant it. “And he _is_ getting better, slowly. But it’s only been a few weeks. You know these things take time. Mother is great with him too. Not to mention Thor. It’s just me he doesn’t like”

-

-

-

Loki wasn’t happy about being left alone with Peter for a full afternoon. The boy still hated him, and he’d stopped putting in any effort because it was such a waste of time. He knew it would be a waste of food trying to get him to eat, so he didn’t need to do anything kitchen-wise. But he had no idea what he _should_ do. Peter would shake his head at any suggestion anyway, so maybe it would be best just to do nothing.

So that’s exactly what he did. Once Tony had left, Loki went into the living room. Peter was sat crossed-legged on the sofa, blanket round his shoulders, looking perfectly contentedly at the huge illustrated encyclopedia in his lap. He seemed to shrink when he saw Loki, and kept glancing at him nervously. Loki ignored him, flopping down on the other sofa and turning the telly on. 

After an hour or two he started to feel tired, and he soon nodded off. 

-

Peter looked over at Loki. He never felt quite so scared of him when he was asleep. He closed the encyclopedia and set it aside. The telly volume was on low, and he didn’t recognise what was on. Some kind of property programme, by the looks of it. It always felt weird, thinking that so much had stayed the same while he’d been a Number. He’d had a good life before, and arguably an even better one now, but he sometimes thought he’d never feel quite safe again, not now that he knew what being a Number could be like - especially a young one.

He shivered. It was cold in the living room, even with the blanket round his shoulders. He stood up and went over to check the radiator. It was cold, obviously not switched on. Peter didn’t know where the central heating controls were in this place - he had no reason to. There was a large fireplace in the living room, but he wasn’t allowed to touch it. So he had no way to warm up. He stood shivering for a moment, feeling a little funny and light-headed. He looked over at Loki, wondering how he could possibly sleep when it was so cold. But then, Loki was _always_ tired. He could probably sleep in any condition. 

Come to think of it, Peter was feeling tired now too. He didn’t want to wander off to his bedroom though. He didn’t like going down that corridor alone - it was dark even in the middle of the day, and the lamps they had there cast strange shadows. It put him on edge.

He looked at Loki again. People were meant to be warmer when they were asleep, weren’t they? He blinked hard, trying to stay focused - but everything felt fuzzy and his only thought now was ‘sleep’. Before he really knew what he was doing, he’d climbed onto the sofa and wriggled underneath Loki’s arm. Loki automatically shifted and held him in his sleep. Peter yawned, and cuddled up against him. He _was_ warm - and he smelt nice too, like musk and mint. It was quite comforting, and he soon fell asleep.

-

Tony went straight to the living room to find Loki when he got back. 

“Hey darling- oh”

He stopped at what he say: Loki on his side on the sofa, with Peter curled up asleep under his arm.

“He was just here when I woke up” Loki said, sounding equal parts shocked, confused, and relieved.

Tony sat on the arm of the sofa, resting one hand on Loki’s head, and stroking Peter’s hair gently with the other.

“I said he’d come round”

*


End file.
